Love Lounge Top Tips – Learning to Trust
Learning to trust can be tough in any relationship, but if you’re disabled and have been hurt before, or are unsure about how a new partner will take to you, your impairment and any additional requirements or care needs you may have, it can be even trickier. For some top tips on trust that we hope will help you to welcome loved ones with open arms once more, read on.
Tip 1: Don’t tarnish everyone with the same brush.
Whether you’ve had an unfaithful partner, have struggled with open communication in the past, or are even having a hard time removing previous nasty comments about you and your impairment from your mind, please remember not to expect that same negative behaviour from everyone else. You don’t deserve it, and some people really do know how to treat others right. We promise. Learning to trust again is not easy, but reassuring yourself regularly that not everyone behaves badly is a good first step.
Tip 2: Be honest about your past.
We can often make the dangerous mistake of expecting our lovers to be mind readers when it comes to our past relationships and hurt feelings. Unfortunately, they aren’t (but how great it would be if they were!) If you are finding it tough to trust, and are getting anxious when your partner goes out, or are finding yourself itching to check their phone, please do sit them down and explain how you’re feeling and what you’ve experienced previously. Any loving significant other with nothing to hide will do all they can to put your mind at ease. But, its then up to you to do your part and give them the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason not to trust them, which will hopefully be never.
Tip 3: Check in with each other regularly.
Trust, especially in relationships, can be very much like grief. Over time, it gets easier, but certain things happen when you least expect them to that can trigger those difficult feelings all over again. When we get those triggers out of nowhere, it can be so easy to shrink up within ourselves emotionally. We don’t want to call our partners out unnecessarily, or give them any reason to think that we are being unreasonable. Next time this happens, take the step to resist the need to hide and bottle up feelings, and let your lover know how you’re feeling. The more we talk about these things, the more normalised and easy to work through they become. And relationships with openness, honesty, and care, no matter how difficult and testing they will be, have the best chance of survival.
Wishing you the very best of luck on your trusting journey. You deserve happiness that is simple, care-free and long lasting.