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Top tips

So… you fancy a disabled person?

By | Emily Yates, The Love Lounge, Top tips, Undressing Disability | No Comments

As we are sure you know by now, the Love Lounge isn’t just for disabled people.  It is a platform for everyone, disabled or not, to gain awareness of, and learn about, dating, relationships, sex and love in a thoroughly accessible and inclusive way.  Sadly, disabled people don’t yet have the voice that they deserve when it comes to these issues, and we believe that encouraging everyone to educate themselves so that they too can ‘fight the good fight’ can only be a good thing.  In light of this, we are regularly contacted by non-disabled people who, very often, all have one question in common: ‘how can I let my disabled acquaintance know that I want more than a friendship? I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing, or doing something to offend them!’ If you feel this way, or know someone that does, you might want to read on.

 

Tip 1: Think about why you feel differently

Why do you like the person? Are they funny, gorgeous, smart, stylish, kind, passionate about what they do, or a mixture of all of the above? They certainly sound like a catch to us, and the fact that they are in a wheelchair, Deaf, visually impaired or struggle with communication shouldn’t take that away from them.  Disabled people are sexy, too! Are you terrified about what they will think if you let them know how you feel, or are you actually worried about other peoples’ opinions? As the famous saying goes: those who mind won’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.  There’s no doubt about it, you’ve (sadly) got to have inner confidence and strength to go out with a disabled person in today’s society, but that makes you a bloody good catch, too!

Tip 2: Good intention is everything

For so many people, worrying about patronising or offending disabled people is a real issue, and of course it’s something that you don’t want to be doing when you’re asking someone out, on a first date with them, or even about to get it on.  That’s why good intentions go such a long way; don’t worry too much about slipping up or saying the wrong thing if you truly mean well. Us disabled people have a bit of a sixth sense when it comes to intention, and can often easily ‘weed out’ the people who we know are trying to mock us rather than show a genuine interest. Other than that, why should what you say to a disabled partner be any different to how you would address a non-disabled one? Unless you’re discussing the most accessible hotel to stay in during a romantic weekend away, or new sexual positions to try that you want to ensure are inclusive to the both of you, there’s no need for disability to even really be a factor.

Tip 3:  Enjoy the ride!

Don’t let your worries or lack of knowledge around disability stop you from having what could be an amazing date, night between the sheets or long-term relationship with a disabled person.  If you meet a disabled person that you find attractive, go for it! Who knows what adventures you could both go on together?

 

 

Love Lounge Top Tips – Inclusive, sexy companies

By | Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Top tips, Undressing Disability | No Comments

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I think I’d be doing you all a disservice if I didn’t let you know about some of my favourite inclusive, sexy companies that you should totally check out at this time of year (or at any time of year! Let’s be honest, pleasure doesn’t have a time stamp).  So, whether you’re searching for products to surprise your partner with, or looking forward to an orgasmic night in for one, this week on the Love Lounge, we’ve got you covered! Read on for my suggestions, and I can’t wait to hear about yours…

 

Tip 1: Hot Octopuss

The first thing that’s enticing about Hot Octopuss is their brilliant branding.  Edgy rather than flirty, with tattooed, striking models that are a far cry away from the blonde, busty images that often saturate the adult world, it’s fair to say I was instantly hooked.  Hot Octopuss are on a mission to make masturbation more inclusive for every body.  Their selection of pulse male toys can be used with or without an erection, and their new Queen Bee clitoral stimulator sets new standards for female toys, not least because it boasts a long handle that is perfect for those with limited dexterity and movement.  With affordable pricing and display-worthy packaging to boot, Hot Octopuss truly offers something for everyone, regardless of age or ability.

 

Tip 2: Rocks Off

Rocks Off need little introduction; they are the UK’s leading sex toy manufacturer, and sell their products on pretty much every mainstream sexy website you can think of. They need to be praised beyond measure for an inclusive sex toy that is right up my street, though! The Ruby Glow is the ultimate answer to a hands-free orgasm for the seated females amongst us.  Imagine a miniature, battery powered version of a sybian that you can slide underneath you without moving out of your wheelchair (the dream, I know!) True to its name, it dazzles in ruby red velvet silicone, has ten powerful functions, and can even be used through clothing.  You can thank me later.

 

Tip 3:  Liberator Sex Furniture 

On the more luxurious end of the scale is Liberator, a company that prides itself on selling Bedroom Adventure Gear.  Whether you’re looking for a headrest to make positioning less painful, or a chaise lounge that can innocently appear as stylish furniture when your parents come to visit and become a playground for your wildest fantasies behind closed doors, this is the site for you.  There’s wedges and ramps that can be combined to make difficult positions more accessible, and even specialist beanbags to take pressure off your joints and limbs whilst you Netflix and chill (and we all know where that leads…!)  This stuff is far from cheap but, if nothing else, Liberator may well give you the inspo you need to make your sex life all the more inclusive and fun.

Wishing you a very pleasurable Valentine’s Day indeed 😉

 

 

Top Tips for using the correct terminology

By | Disability, Top tips | No Comments

One of the questions we are asked the most at Enhance the UK is ‘How do I refer to a disabled person without offending them?’ In today’s society, many of us are terrified of offending or patronising others, and rightly so! But, there’s nothing worse than letting your communication fear get in the way of talking to disabled people so much that you end up not conversing at all! So, here are our top tips for using the correct terminology when communicating with disabled people:

  1. Ask them first.

It’s unlikely that you will ever need to know about someone’s impairment or condition, unless you are a medical professional, work in a school or are reporting an incident. But if you do need to know the specifics for any reason, don’t guess! Politely and calmly ask the disabled person in question how to best describe their impairment. That way, you’ve put them in control of the situation without assuming or shying away from the issue at hand.

  1. Idioms are OK

People also get hung up on using everyday sayings around disabled people. Saying ‘see you later’ to a blind person or ‘walk this way’ to a wheelchair user is absolutely fine! In fact, the worst thing you can possibly do is stumble over your words, feel embarrassed and end up not chatting at all!

  1. It’s all about the intention

We all slip up sometimes and say the wrong thing, and let’s be honest, disabled people are used to non-disabled people feeling a little awkward around them (unfortunately). But, if your motives come from a good place, then that’s half the battle.

For more information, get in touch with us by visiting www.enhancetheuk.org or tweeting us @enhancetheuk

 

 

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