How can I find love and stop feeling so lonely – Love Lounge Q&A

Hi Mik and Emily

This is a particularly difficult email to write.  Basically I am a single,  divorced 42-year-old bloke living with Friedreich’s Ataxia – a progressive, genetic disease of the nervous system.
I am lucky enough to have plenty of good friends and I get a lot out of these relationships.  However, I do find myself suffering from loneliness and feel lost when dealing with issues of sexuality and intimacy?
I am not interested in simply calling an escort as I want to build a special friendship based around respect and trust.
I have quite a busy social life and I have recently led a disability campaign in Wales.  This has increased my profile but simply turned me into the most popular lonely person I know.
I think my confidence needs working on and I really enjoyed watching Mik’s recent YouTube video about Dr Phil.  I am not sure which way to turn and was hoping for some advice from your good selves.
Look forward to speaking soon
Nick
Hi Nick,
Many thanks for writing into us with such honesty.  We will certainly do our best to help!
The first thing that popped into my head when I read your email is whether you can use the resources around you to your advantage. It’s wonderful that you have such a supportive network of friends. If you don’t already, can you go to events or on trips with these friends to places that will increase your chances of finding someone in a romantic sense? Have you heard of the site MeetUp? I suggest this to a lot of people because it’s a great way of finding out about what’s going on in your area.  Let’s say that you enjoy cooking, for example, there’s bound to be a MeetUp group in your area that focuses on cooking, or trying out new local restaurants every week.  It’s a great way of meeting people weekly, building up friendships based on similar interests and, who knows, maybe it could lead to romance?!
Have you tried online dating, or are you interested in trying it at all? If mindlessly swiping on Tinder isn’t your thing, how about a site focused on communication and similar interests, like eHarmony? I’m a wheelchair user and met my boyfriend on Tinder, and many of my friend now have very successful relationships from online dating!
You say that you’ve had a busy time recently (and the campaign sounds brilliant!) Don’t forget to take some time for yourself, too.  We often radiate a bit more confidence when we feel good about ourselves, so don’t feel guilty about buying a new outfit that you feel great in, or going and treating yourself to a spa day, if that’s what you’re into!
Hoping this helps Nick, and good luck!
Emily

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