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This is our page for all things free and sexy. You’ll find all our accessible PDF guides, articles, free support and our very own online magazine here

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#UndressingDisability: Sex Ed for Teenagers

At Enhance The UK, we believe more conversations around sex & disability need to be started. We’re not shy, we’ll discuss just about anything!

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Frequently UNASKED Questions!

On the contrary, there’s many Frequently Unasked Questions about disability! People are often afraid to ask questions and worry about how to treat disabled people to avoid offending.

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Your Sex Questions Answered

We receive a lot of curious questions from people with and without disabilities about sex. Here’s some of the most commonly asked questions.

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DON'T FORGET ABOUT
LIABILITY MAGAZINE!

Liability is an online monthly magazine published by us. It’s written by a group of women who all have disabilities and are not afraid to talk about them. They have a lot to say each month and topics covered range from sex and relationships to current affairs, politics and fashion. There really is something for everyone!

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Recent Blogs

There’s helpful information, questions and articles on our blog too…

Dealing with break-ups

By | Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

This subject is never a nice one, but something that most of us have to go through at least once in our lives.  Breaking up might be the right thing for you and your partner, especially in the long term, but that doesn’t make the ending hurt any less, or make it seem anymore unfair or unjust at the time.  We’re sorry if you’re having a tough time at the moment, but hopefully this post will help you to see the light at the end of the break up tunnel.  Here are our top tips, from experience!

Tip 1: Allow the Grieving Process to happen

There’s a huge pressure, especially in this swiping day and age where you can get laid on your lunch break, to get over a break up by quickly getting under someone else. Whilst this method totally works for some people, it definitely doesn’t make the break up hurt any less, or the nights alone feel any less lonely.  And, you know what? That feeling of loneliness is more than okay, let it happen! Breaking up with someone is a grieving process and, quite often, if you try to stop that process from happening, it can take you so much longer to move on in the long term.

Tip 2: Move at your own pace

How often have you stalked your ex after a break up, checking to see if they’re with someone else yet? Yeah, us too.  It’s normal! But don’t forget to move at your own pace and only do what feels right to you. Your ex and their behaviour is not your concern anymore, so focus all that energy on yourself.  Treat yourself to a spa day, do all of the things that your ex wasn’t keen on, and try to have an exciting (or dare we say it, flirty) conversation with someone new every day.  Learning that other people still find you attractive and interesting is a big factor in moving on, especially if you’ve been with your ex for a long time.

Tip 3:  Look after yourself

When we feel down, it can be all too easy to slip into a slumber of not caring for our minds and bodies. We all have a habit when we feel sad, whether it’s sitting in our pjs and not showering for a couple of days, eating ten times more of our favourite food than we should do, or crying to our mum down the phone on a daily basis (or, let’s face it, all three!) Try your best to keep getting up and showing up, whatever you feel the world is throwing at you through your break up.  Use the time that you would have spent with your ex by starting up a new hobby, rekindling friendships that you might have neglected when you were in a relationship, or getting back to grips with all the amazingggg sex toys that are out there now. They call it self care for a reason 😉

So, whether you decide to get over by getting under, or practice self care rather than swiping, remember to take care through a break up and ensure that you’re happy with the person you’ve really got to be with for the rest of your life: yourself!

Undressing Disability in Academia: Sexual Politics in Diverse Communities at the University of Leeds

By | Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

As a user-led disability awareness charity, we at Enhance the UK are often asked to present our ideas and opinions surrounding access and inclusion at conferences all over the country.  Our ‘Undressing Disability’ campaign has also allowed us to discuss sexuality and identity on a broader scale, and we have recently been in conversation with academics, healthcare officials and educational institutions to discuss just how we can all ensure that everyone has the opportunity to express themselves sexually, and be educated on their sexual rights and responsibilities.

We were delighted when, in early April, Emily was fortunate enough to be invited to chair a discussion panel at the University of Leeds, as part of a one day symposium on‘Sexual Politics in Diverse Communities: Conversations about Theory, Methodology and Practice.’ Organised and run by Dr Julia Bahner and an event for the School of Sociology and Social Policy (SSP), the day was an opportunity for speakers, scholars and students alike to deliver presentations and discuss topics such as intimate and sexual citizenship, disability theory, sex work and gender and trans studies.

The symposium marked the end of a two-year Marie Sklodowska Curie Research Fellow Fellowship for Dr. Julia Bahner at SSP. Julia has experience working with disabled people’s organisations in Sweden and is a social worker as well as a respected scholar. For her project on ‘Sexual Citizenship and Disability: Implications for Theory, Practice and Policy’, she focused on sexual facilitation for disabled people, and her work plays a vital role in challenging how we consider, discuss and respect the sexual identity of disabled people today.

Very rarely do academics and those working in the third sector get the opportunity to come together to share work, ideas and opinions on how to take progressive thoughts forward into practical movements.  Throughout the day, there were discussions on what sexual and intimate citizenship mean for all, the different stances of numerous countries on sexual facilitation for disabled people, ensuring the safety and security of sex workers all over the country, and supporting the trans community through pregnancy and parenting.

In her own words, Julia organised this much-needed event because: ‘I wanted to bring together colleagues within a broader field of sexual politics, who share the will to not only put marginalized voices on the agenda and show that their concerns matter beyond the confines of that particular community, but who also work actively politically and/or with practice. I hoped that this would be a ‘safe space’ to discuss challenges and share experiences that we could learn from and support each other, as well as give an understanding to the audience of the need to move beyond separatism and see that we in fact share much common ground in our endeavours.’  When asked what advice she would give to policy makers, Julia replied: ‘To not shy away from talking about sexuality and sexual support – although they are private and sensitive issues, staying silent is not helpful, in fact the opposite. We can only learn and progress to develop better and more ethical and professional practices by discussing difficulties, fears and worries – and possibilities!’

We could not agree more! Thank you to Julia and the SSP team at the University of Leeds for a brilliant, challenging and inspiring day.

 

 

Learning to Trust – Love Lounge tips

By | Disability, Emily Yates, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Love Lounge Top Tips – Learning to Trust

Learning to trust can be tough in any relationship, but if you’re disabled and have been hurt before, or are unsure about how a new partner will take to you, your impairment and any additional requirements or care needs you may have, it can be even trickier.  For some top tips on trust that we hope will help you to welcome loved ones with open arms once more, read on.

Tip 1: Don’t tarnish everyone with the same brush.

Whether you’ve had an unfaithful partner, have struggled with open communication in the past, or are even having a hard time removing previous nasty comments about you and your impairment from your mind, please remember not to expect that same negative behaviour from everyone else.  You don’t deserve it, and some people really do know how to treat others right.  We promise.  Learning to trust again is not easy, but reassuring yourself regularly that not everyone behaves badly is a good first step.

Tip 2: Be honest about your past.

We can often make the dangerous mistake of expecting our lovers to be mind readers when it comes to our past relationships and hurt feelings.  Unfortunately, they aren’t (but how great it would be if they were!) If you are finding it tough to trust, and are getting anxious when your partner goes out, or are finding yourself itching to check their phone, please do sit them down and explain how you’re feeling and what you’ve experienced previously. Any loving significant other with nothing to hide will do all they can to put your mind at ease.  But, its then up to you to do your part and give them the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason not to trust them, which will hopefully be never.

Tip 3:  Check in with each other regularly.

Trust, especially in relationships, can be very much like grief.  Over time, it gets easier, but certain things happen when you least expect them to that can trigger those difficult feelings all over again.  When we get those triggers out of nowhere, it can be so easy to shrink up within ourselves emotionally. We don’t want to call our partners out unnecessarily, or give them any reason to think that we are being unreasonable.  Next time this happens, take the step to resist the need to hide and bottle up feelings, and let your lover know how you’re feeling.  The more we talk about these things, the more normalised and easy to work through they become.  And relationships with openness, honesty, and care, no matter how difficult and testing they will be, have the best chance of survival.

Wishing you the very best of luck on your trusting journey.  You deserve happiness that is simple, care-free and long lasting.

The Love Lounge

 

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