Monthly Archives

August 2016

Sexy time?

By | Lifestyle, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

As you may recall if you read my previous post on my quest to find an accessible dentists, I wondered if they were going to check out my teeth whilst I sit in my wheelchair? As it happens the answer was yes they will. And my reward for completing my quest is the removal of my wisdom teeth (I better not lose any IQ points). If I still saw the tooth fairy they would get me some serious money, we would be talking at least 50 pence for each tooth.

Sadly, I’m a little too old to see the tooth fairy these days, it’s something about being an adult. My fiancée says it would just be sad if I still saw the tooth fairy (I bet she is one of those people who don’t believe that Santa exists). This is testament to how things change in life, I was fascinated by the digital X-ray machine they used at the dentist’s (it’s been 16 years, they still used big, film X-ray machines last time they took any).’Change is not good’ the gruff, Yorkshire part of my brain quips in which of course is nonsense.

Needless to say, I no longer have the same facial hair, quite unbelievably I did have a girlfriend at the time. My fiancée tells me she would have laughed at me if I had the same thing now, I am amazed that my girlfriend at the time didn’t but it would explain why I don’t remember anyone else at uni having any interest in me.

On the subject of things changing, I shall make a smooth segway into relations of the bedroom nature. This may come as a shock to some of you as it isn’t exactly dinner table conversation, but people with disabilities like to have sex (I haven’t done a survey but I enjoy having sex and I’m fairly certain that it’s generally a well received activity). I know, consider your collective minds blown, or not as it is kind of obvious. The specific logistics of an individual with a broken back or someone with epilepsy are obviously vastly different but as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park, “life will find a way.”.

Now everyone is different (obviously) and we all have our particular preferences on positions and rhythms (never did get the hang of ‘spooning’ even before I was diagnosed with MS, it is more a concept for me now like light speed travel or the ability to make a soft boiled egg). There are actually a whole plethora of different equipment and adaptations available via the internet to suit all preferences and requirements.

What I’m trying to say this week is that we are all the same. Technically we are all different, which conversely makes us all the same, well we’re all the same because we are all different which therefore implies that we are all the same in that regard (I’m making myself tired thinking about this logic, let’s agree that we are all the same okay?). Everyone lands somewhere on this spectrum, able bodied, pointy eared, six fingered, stick wielding, wheelchair using, Doritos loving, weird people that we all are. Everyone is a little bit different and we all have our own barriers to face, so do yourself a favour and offer ask someone else whether they would like any assistance, you may just get yourself a tea and some biscuits.

Gav xx

Liability – why we launched a magazine

By | Disability, Lifestyle | No Comments

Liability for TwitterLiability, a free online magazine written by sassy ladies for sassy ladies was launched early this year and is going from strength to strength. The magazine features articles by established bloggers and writers on fashion, make up, sport, sex, current affairs and travel to name a few.

Liability was the brainchild of CEO of Enhance the UK, Jennie Williams. She found herself surrounded by and chatting with a group of highly successful and personable women at an event held at the Gherkin in central London. Professions within the group included a travel writer, TV presenter, graphic designer, writer, business owner, model, blogger, events manager, trainee counseller, musician and a charity worker. Jennie noticed that they all had something interesting to say and were not shy about coming forward and sharing their experiences and views. They all also had something else in common; they all had a disability. You see, the event was to celebrate the unveiling of a new Enhance the UK film for the Undressing Disability campaign – a campaign which aims to raise standards in sexual health and sexual awareness for disabled people. At the event was an exhibition of photographs of disabled people in their underwear. These photographs clearly show that people with disabilities can be sexual too and helps to break the stigma around sex and disability. Some of the women that Jennie was speaking to had taken part in that campaign, others wanted to show their support. Conversation turned towards the stereotypes of disabled women and the seed for Liability magazine was sown.

Every author who contributes towards the magazine has a disability themselves, but they didn’t want the magazine to be about disability. They wanted to show that disabled women have the same interests as able bodied women. That disabled women can be highly successful in their work, sexy, interesting and fun. It is a real shame that society often perceives disabled people as scroungers, lazy and people who should be pitied. Yes of course all the women involved in the magazine have difficulties which they have to overcome. But none of the women wish to be defined by their difficulties.

Liability magazine is a magazine which is written by cool, quirky, feisty women who just happen to have disabilities. Take the time to have a look, you can find it here

My dad is overprotective

By | Emily Yates, Lifestyle, The Love Lounge | No Comments

Hi

I have cerebral palsy and in a wheelchair also have a speech impediment I live with my dad which makes it moe difficult to get out as he is overprotective.

I want to experience sex as I yearn to know what it feel like.

Thanks

J

Hi J

Hoping you’re well and thanks so much for contacting the Love Lounge. Sex and intimacy is a really important and treasured thing for most of us, regardless of disability, and to experience that connection with someone else can be a beautiful thing.

Maybe it would be good to have an honest conversation with your dad about sex and relationships? He needs to understand how important this is to you.

Have you tried online dating? Maybe it would be a good start initially to build your confidence up talking to men online.
Do you have any hobbies? Could you persuade your dad to take you to an evening class one night a week, for example, where you might have the chance to meet a partner?

I hope this helps

Emily

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