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November 2016

Jeans unzipping

Sore muscles during sex, how do I tell him without spoiling the mood?!

By | Emily Yates, Lifestyle, The Love Lounge | No Comments
Dear Love Lounge,
I’ve been dating this guy for a while and things are going really well. It’s been a few months now, and
I know we’re going to sleep with each other soon…! My muscles can get particularly tight and sore
during sex, how can I let him know without spoiling the mood?!
Kate.
Hi Kate, thanks for writing in to us, and about a pretty personal topic, too! How exciting! A new man and a new adventure 🙂 bet you can’t wait to see where things go! If things are going really well and you’ve spent a fair bit of time together now, bringing up sex, and how your disability fits in with that, shouldn’t really be an issue. If he wants to get into your knickers, he can definitely listen to any concerns you might have!! Are there certain positions that work really well for you, or things that definitely don’t? Does having a bath before, or after, sex help you to relax? Or do tactically positioned pillows help to ease certain pains? Whatever it may be, make sure to let him know (because he’s unlikely to know exactly what to do if you don’t tell him, and it’d be unfair to
expect him to, right?!) That way, you can both be clued up beforehand and concentrate on enjoying the moment, no mood-spoilers in sight.
Em x

Recently split from a long term relationship & I don’t know where to start…

By | Emily Yates, Lifestyle, The Love Lounge | No Comments

Hi Mik and Emily,

I have a physical disability and use a wheelchair every so often.  If not, I walk on crutches.  I’ve recently just come out of a long term relationship with someone who I thought was ‘it’.  I’m feeling pretty low and don’t really know where to start! Can you give me some advice please?

P

Hi P!

Sorry to hear of your break up, it’s really tough when things finish with someone we care about so much, and if you have a disability that upset and stress about moving on can be even more difficult to deal with.  My advice? Don’t worry too much about starting to date again just yet, the likelihood is is that it’ll take you a good few months, and maybe even a year or so to get over your ex (rubbish, I know!) Just focus on you – see your friends, go out to those places that you maybe didn’t visit so much when you were in a relationship and remember all the things you’re passionate about and you love; I can guarantee there’s much more to you then just the person who was by your side!!

When it does come to dating again, and it will, take it slow and be true to yourself.  Disclosure your disability on your online profile if you want to, don’t if you don’t feel like it, but I would suggest answering honestly to any questions that are asked; you’ll feel better for being truthful.  Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself either – wear that bold lippie or dye your hair a crazy colour, why not!? Someone is bound to find you attractive when you’re just having fun J

Good luck!
Em x

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