Typing the word ‘sexy’ makes me squirm a little bit, but it’s important! It sometimes seems that, by
not choosing us for films, adverts and campaigns, society is trying to tell us disabled people
something: that we aren’t desirable, or worthy of attention based on our looks. Excuse the
language, but that is utter bollocks. Sadly though, it can often have the desired effect, and we can
feel less-than in so many ways, not least sexually. So, how can we get our mojo back and ensure
that feeling fiiiine isn’t just for the non-disabled? Read on for some of my personal hints and tips
(and feel free to add your own!)
Tip 1: You are Enough
I read so many articles that encourage readers to focus on everything other than their impairment
when it comes to feeling attractive. There’s no need! Instead, we need to start believing that every
bit of us is sexy, even the bits that don’t work properly, or do the opposite of what we want them to!
First things first, take the time to appreciate the whole ‘you’, even the parts of your body or
personality that you’ve always been insecure about. It’s easier said than done, we know, but it really
does make quite the difference when you can look in the mirror, give yourself a little smile and think
‘yep, you’ll do!’
Tip 2: Unravel the attractiveness
One of the things that annoys me most about how many people view disability is weirdly also one of
the things I find most attractive about myself. I’ll try to explain… There is nothing that makes me
feel more attractive when meeting someone new on a night out than when they’ve all but cast me
aside because I’m a wheelchair user, and I ‘unravel’ other parts of myself – my interests, opinions
and humour – and can see the person that didn’t want to know a minute ago suddenly changing
their mind. Their initial narrowmindedness probably means that I won’t be going home with them,
but knowing that their mentality has changed just a little bit makes me feel so good, and powerful in
a way. Find what it is that makes you feel powerful and attractive, and work it!
Tip 3: Haters gonna hate.
And that’s okay, don’t let them grind you down. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea – none
of us are – but its important not to let one opinion define you. Change the things you want to and
can, and move forward loving the bits you can’t, because worrying about and apologising for who
you are and what you’re about isn’t sexy; owning it is.
Here’s to you, you sexy thing. Go get ‘em!