One question we often get asked at the Love Lounge revolves around how to still be sexy and sexual after losing the sensation, and sometimes function, in your genitals. Our Love Lounge non-expert sexpert, Mik, spoke at length about this just a few weeks ago with someone who wrote in to ask for his advice, and great advice he gave! So, we thought we would make a blog out of some of Mik’s top tips for when worries about feeling, function and all things sex get on top of you.
- See a specialist
As Mik very rightly says, if you do start to lose feeling and/or function in your genital area, be sure to get it checked out. It doesn’t always mean you’ve lost that sensation or ability for good – far from it – and something else might be going on with your body that requires attention. As Mik has experienced himself, sometimes spinal surgery is what is needed, and that can bring back much of the feeling and/or function that was deemed to be lost. It’s always better to be safe than sorry and ensure that a medical expert has had a chance to give you their thoughts.
- Remember what you’ve got
If you have lost feeling and/or function and aren’t going to regain it any time soon, please do remember what other tips and tricks you have up your sexual sleeve! Sadly, we live in a society that believes penetration is the be-all and end-all of everything sexual, and that is plainly and simply not true! Become an expert in other areas behind closed doors – magic fingers and tongues are JUST as good as penetration (even better, some may say!) And there’s a whole host of accessible and inclusive sex toys at your disposal now, so no excuse to not still be incredibly sexy.
- Remapping zones
Still wanting to get all tingly and experience orgasm? One thing that Mik is a real advocate for is the ability to remap your erogenous zones so that you are able to orgasm from a certain part of your body being touched that is not necessarily your genitals. We’ll let Mik tell you how it’s done: ‘Basically, you have to learn how to masturbate without touching yourself. Lie on your bed & think very dirty thoughts. Let your imagination run riot. As you feel more and more aroused keep going. With a few tries you’ll find you start to be able to orgasm without being touched. Lots of fun if you ever bored at the cinema eh?
Now you can do this, just as you’re about to orgasm touch yourself or get someone to touch you on a part of your body you already like being touched. Nipples for example. Doing this a few times makes you start to be able to orgasm in a different place to your genitals. It’s a different orgasm as it’s very head first rather than groin first. Trust me it works.’
Whilst scary and full of sadness for many at first, a lack or feeling and/or function does not at all have to mean a lack of sexiness.