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This is our page for all things free and sexy. You’ll find all our accessible PDF guides, articles, free support and our very own online magazine here

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#UndressingDisability: Sex Ed for Teenagers

At Enhance The UK, we believe more conversations around sex & disability need to be started. We’re not shy, we’ll discuss just about anything!

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Frequently UNASKED Questions!

On the contrary, there’s many Frequently Unasked Questions about disability! People are often afraid to ask questions and worry about how to treat disabled people to avoid offending.

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Q&A’s

Your Sex Questions Answered

We receive a lot of curious questions from people with and without disabilities about sex. Here’s some of the most commonly asked questions.

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DON'T FORGET ABOUT
LIABILITY MAGAZINE!

Liability is an online monthly magazine published by us. It’s written by a group of women who all have disabilities and are not afraid to talk about them. They have a lot to say each month and topics covered range from sex and relationships to current affairs, politics and fashion. There really is something for everyone!

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Recent Blogs

There’s helpful information, questions and articles on our blog too…

A split image showing a smiling person on the left giving a thumbs up, wearing a white shirt, purple glasses, and a decorative necklace. On the right side, there is a close-up of wooden Scrabble-style letter tiles scattered randomly, with visible letters including B, L, H, M, G, and W.

Jen on…..dyslexia, dating and parenting

By Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Jen is a mature student, taking the courageous step of studying for a full-time degree. She hopes to pursue a career in education.

We asked Jen about receiving a dyslexia diagnosis as an adult and how this affects her experiences.

Can you tell us how your dyslexia diagnosis came about?

When I was 19, I went to uni to study Dance Performance, a subject I really love. I excelled at, and very much enjoyed, the dancing and choreography elements. I could visualise everything in my head, but just couldn’t translate it to paper. I didn’t know I was dyslexic then, and there was no mention of support or accessibility strategies. I ended up dropping out at the end of the first semester, feeling like I had failed. I became very depressed and gave up on education, believing it’s just not for me.

Over a decade later, I decided to try uni again, thinking I might be able to cope better as a mature student. My support tutor noticed there were things I struggled with, so she recommended that I have an assessment. Luckily, following the diagnosis, I was able to access some technical support software, which helps to make studying more accessible. I really appreciate this, but there are still things that I seem to find more challenging than the other students appear to.

How does being dyslexic affect your day-to-day life?

Dyslexia can mean that everyday thought processes are pretty jumbled. I forget dates and times, and when I do remember, I can get them mixed up.

When I was growing up, it took me longer to learn to tell the time. Even now, I struggle to figure out timings, including my working hours. In the past, I have lost money and have been taken advantage of because of my difficulty keeping track of time.  

I find that the organisation can be very chaotic, so I am often running late. In supermarkets, I struggle to read labels and cannot keep a mental note of adding up prices. So I regularly spend more than I had intended. It helps to stick to one store, where I visually know the layout, and I know that my regular items will be within my budget.

Because of difficulty with spelling, I generally spell things out phonetically. I worry that this will be a barrier to my planned career working with children.

Does being dyslexic affect your dating life?

My boyfriend has a lot of patience with me! He understands a lot of the different ways my mind works. Recently, he remembered our anniversary – I didn’t! For partners who don’t understand dyslexia, things like this could be problematic!

As a parent of young children, are there additional challenges that you attribute to being dyslexic?

The amount of daily admin involved with having children can be very overwhelming. I have a lot of anxiety around drop-off and collection due to my struggles with time. As time management is so difficult, I find it seriously stressful to plan the things I need to do before it’s time to pick the children up again. This makes me very tired.

I believe my dyslexia does have a positive side – I am very creative. Time with my children is never boring, and they find our creativity a lot of fun. I try to be very structured in my parenting style, which works well for me and the kids. Although I do worry that this might seem controlling, as I have to have the house clean and tidy. This is an ongoing battle, as children leave things everywhere!

Do you find that being dyslexic affects your self-esteem?

Growing up, my self-esteem was dreadful. I am very oversensitive, which meant I struggled to make friends. I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand sarcasm. As a teenager, I internalised this as bullying.

I have body issues and constantly compare myself to others, and I do not appreciate my achievements. I worry that I am not as reliable as other people, and I hope that I can find a job where my positives can be celebrated. 

Want to read more blogs on disability? Why not visit our blog page to find more!

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Love Lounge: Need advice on finding love after a stroke

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

The Question:

I had a stroke 5 years ago, in my 30s. I lost 80% of my left hemisphere and had to learn to walk and talk again.  I’m so lucky that I have regained my mobility and speech – I know others who have only lost a tiny part of their brain, but due to where the stroke was, have lost speech. 

My difficulty is that I can’t read or write. This makes daily life such a challenge – looking at timetables for buses, planning, meeting people, and I can no longer work.

My relationship broke down and I’d like to meet someone else but it’s so hard using dating apps when I can’t read and write. There’s no flow and everything takes ages to copy and paste for my phone to read it to me, so I think people will lose interest. Any ideas?

Jayden

The answer:

Hi,

Well done on your recovery for a start! 

Are you using the accessibility features on your smartphone? iPhone has a built-in screen reader called VoiceOver, and the Android equivalent is called TalkBack.  These will speak back to you what is on the screen and give auditory descriptions of screen elements, notifications and alerts. However, they definitely take a while to get used to navigating it. As your sight isn’t affected, a YouTube video tutorial might be beneficial!!

Another option is to use dating apps that allow you to send voice notes and videos – such as Hinge. This means you can be more free-flowing and show your personality as you are, rather than taking ages to send messages back and forth.

The other way is to go old school and meet people in person! Get involved in activities, etc, that you enjoy and meet people that way. They’ll have a common interest and see all elements of you, not the restricted version, battling with text messages! 

Best,

Zoe

Want to read more Love Lounge questions? Head to our blog post page to find more

Joy is a visually impaired woman of colour. She is wearing a pink patterned dress and gold hoop earrings. She is facing the camera and smiling while wearing glasses. She is sitting on a park bench in the summer. THe other half of the image is a retro microphone in a pink light as Joy is a podcaster.

Joy Addo on…….parenting, visual impairments and podcasting

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Joy Addo is a mother and podcaster. Her podcast, Joy’s World, is a wonderful, open and honest account of her life as a blind, and (soon to be!) mother of three.

She shares her journey, podcasting, talking about vaginas and what we can do to support visually impaired people.


Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your journey with being visually impaired?

My name is Joy Addo. I am 31, a mother of two girls, and I am currently pregnant with my third child. I have been registered blind since the age of around four. My mum noticed that one eye was smaller than the other, and I was bumping into things a lot as a child. When she finally got me diagnosed, they discovered my inflammatory eye condition, and ever since, I have had many surgeries to keep me with a tiny amount of vision in my left eye.

How has this shaped your identity both personally and professionally?

I feel that having a visual impairment has shaped who I am as a person, as the challenges I have faced have been unique to me.

Navigating the world as a black disabled person has its challenges, but also its perks. I feel that not being able to see has led me to meet some amazing people and, therefore, have some fantastic experiences. However, coming to terms with my disability as a child was difficult, but once I overcame it, I felt life had changed for the better.

What made you decide to start your podcast?

I decided to start Joy’s World podcast as I have always had a lot to say. I felt that my ex experiences as a young black blind single mother at the time were something that I hadn’t heard of many people speaking about publicly and I wanted to voice and share all of my Wild and crazy experiences.

I also wanted to talk about dating as a disabled woman, as again I felt that this was missing. Now on my podcast, after years of recording, I speak about everything to do with my life. I call it an audio diary, which is definitely not suitable for my parents or children to hear.

How do you choose the topics you talk about?

The topics on my podcast vary from week to week, and it often just depends on what has happened to me during that week, if there is anything in particular that has made me feel a certain way. And to be perfectly honest, a lot of the time I just end up talking about vaginas.

Are there any episodes in particular that are personal favourites or that you are really proud of?

At the risk of sounding big-headed, I would say I am honestly proud of every single episode as I know how much it takes to talk and be honest on a public platform. But if I had to pick one or two special episodes, I would say definitely the episodes where I have interviewed People that I look up to hold a special place in my heart.

The episode with Audrey from The Receipts Podcast is one that is very dear to me, as she is a podcast host I have listened to and respected for many years.

How has being a parent shaped your experience of disability?

I think being a parent with a disability has actually made me more confident in myself. When I was pregnant with my first child, everyone from medical professionals to health visitors underestimated my ability to care for my child due to my disability. I then felt that I had a point approved and that I had to do everything myself.

Now, although I know that is not necessarily the best way to go about things, I feel that having that mindset that I can do everything has helped me parent my children and has helped both myself and them understand that we can do anything together. People underestimate blind people all the time, and people underestimate children. But my children are certainly aware of my disability and the challenges I face, but they also understand it is my superpower.

Are there any misconceptions that people have about visually impaired parents that you feel need to be addressed?

I think the main misconception that people have when it comes to being a blind parent is that there are many things we can’t do. Now, although it is always good to get help in general, I think people need to understand that we always find a way around things.

Our children do not go without, and they do not miss out on anything. Just because you may not know how you would cope being a blind parent, does not mean that we are not capable.

What are some small, practical changes that would make everyday life easier for visually impaired people?

I think the main thing that needs to change is people’s attitude towards disability in general. People fear what they do not know, and often, we do not know how having a certain impairment or disability will affect people, and therefore, we display internal ableism. 

Once people’s attitudes change towards disability, then people will be more open to reasonable adjustments, which will therefore make many disabled people’s lives much easier.

You can listen to Joy’s World on Apple Podcasts.

Want to read more blogs on disability? Why not visit our blog page to find more!

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